Oct 23, 2016

Last week of october goals + life lately

I wanted to write this post friday evening but my laptop decided to update windows and was doing it for almost 4 hours...
I didn't realize I was falling deeper and deeper in depression until 5 weeks ago I started to be angry and upset for no reason. 3 weeks course of sedative pills helped but I'm still in depression although it's not that dark. I take pills once every 2 years or a year and previously I felt better for months. But now exactly when I finished the course I started feeling down again. I guess not healing properly and thinking "Oh I feel ok, not the best but still ok" brough me only in worser state. So now my TOP priority is to heal my depression. Which won't be easy. As there are causes on surface such as overweight and credit card debt and under surface such as I don't love myself and don't do best for me as I'm lazy. I understand that I won't be 100% happy when I loose those 15kg and close my credit card debt. 
So now I'm doing small steps to be happy, not feeling down everyday and say goodbye to my depression.

So yeah, for now 75% of my goals now will be focused on loosing weight and pay my credit card debt and 25% will be focused on loving myself and taking better care of myself.

3 weeks ago I told myself I won't be eating sweets till January 2016 (except for coffee with sugar) and I almast succeed - yesterday I ate 2 cinnamon rolls during my friend's daugher birthday party and little piece of chocolate today. What was that? I was angry today about yesterday cinnamon rolls and ate piece of chocolate to feel even worser. That's totally shows that I don't love myself. 

Healthy & Fitness goals 

1. No sweats
2. No bread (this one is hard! I really like toasts for breakfast... and dinner)
3. Light dinners: Salad or Soup or Yoghurt.
4. Everyday morning yoga for 20-30 minutes. (That one is tricky, I wanted to start 2 weeks ago but I ended up just sleeping more)

Money saving goals

1. No takeout coffee
2. No shopping except for emergency necessities 
3. Limit my eating out with friends to 2 times
4. Actually I'm thinking about no shopping for clothes until I wait again 60kg

Taking care of myself goals

1. Prepare outfit of the day the night before
2. Do makeup every morning
3. Eat breakfast everyday
4. Prepare food for launch at work everyday
5. Clean room everyday
6. Write in a diary every evening (handwriting)
7. Do blog related staff every evening for 2 hours (I realised it's hard to set blogpost number)
8. Go to bed at 10 p.m.
9. Take shower everyday

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