Jan 13, 2015

Cup #1

It's 2015 already! 12th January, actually. But I still didn't write my New Year Resolutions or a 2015 Bucket List. But I think about them.

Honestly not only these past 2 months were really hard for me but the whole year. From January till the end of May I've been working 2 part-time jobs with really low wages. I still work for 1 of them and really want to quit. But the second job was horrible: I've never met such unprofessional director who thought only about herself and did awful things to her coworkers. She was talking lies all the time and how everything will get better. But it won't. Payment was delayed all the time and I received my January salary in April alongside with February one, March salary in May and April and May ones late in July. I wasn't working legally.. Well, legally I've been receiving only 1/3 of my salary so I wouldn't get much if I issue her and honestly I just didn't want to see her and want to forget about that company.


In June I decided to take a break and in July I've started to search for a job. But my cat died. She was ill during 8 months and I was taking care about her all that time including tying her wound\tumor twice a day - she had cancer. It was really hard emotionally and my parents refused to help me and didn't feed or give water to your cat - suddenly I become the only one to look after her. My cat was 14 years old and she was my friend. Her death was expected but still very shocking. And the fact that my parents weren't really affected by her death also shocked me. My mum is very religious. And she said that cats don't have a soul so there is no need to cry and mourn since she is not a human.


After my cat died I was so shocked and sad that I stopped looking for a job. In August my aunt invited me to join her on a trip to Greece in September instead of her friend. I was very smart and stopped searching for a job. A week before our trip touristic company went bankrupt. Nice. My mum became so happy that I won't go.. which made angry. 


From September till now work part-time and search for a proper job. With no result. Because companies don't want to hire me. Honestly I'm being said that I have too much experience to work on starting position. Which drives me crazy because how am I supposed to start working in a different field?!



As I said my mum is very religious. And she became like that... hmm.. about 6 years ago? And now it's in extreme form. She goes to church almost every day. Usually from early morning to late evening. When she doesn't go she blame me for not cleaning our home. Honestly I do work I do have other things to take care of. She only goes to church and scolds me and my dad for not doing housework. She sais church and religion are the most important things. She says she is praying for us, her family and we are stupid and don't understand anything, later I'll thank her. And right now I see inly bad things from it. She doesn't work, she doesn't do housekeeping and she says she is right. And everyday she ask when I'll find a job and earn more money, I shouldn't spend that much, I should not surf the net, I shouldn't play computer games, I shouldn't read fantasy, I shouldn't watch movies etc. It makes me so angry all the time and unhappy. I've never been on good terms with my mum since I was a child but now I just don't understand her at all and honestly don't want to. She says only her opinion is right. When I'm trying to argue with her she just shout at me or starting to cry and sayin I a bad daughter. I feel being mentally abused. And right now I can't change this situation by moving out because renting appartment costs a lot.



With all these troubles I ate a lot and gained 10 kg. And I don't like how I look in the mirror.

My father loves my mom a lot but I can see that he is not happy. He has awful problems with previous job and my mom blames him a lot. Which makes me very sad. He is doing a lot of things for our family but doesn't receive support. I'm trying to be a good daughter for him but I can't do everything and he doesn't speak about his troubles with me.

LOL. I kinda wrote too much about bad things but there were also good things!
I have 2 great friends and we met almost every week. We went to different cafe and restaurants and parks and cinemas.


In April I took a fantastic trip to Prague, Czech Republic. It was really really good. And funny and.. You just need to go there for a holiday!:)



In May I went to Saint-Petersbourg with my friends and it was really fun!



In June I took a trip to Italy, we visited Rome, Napoli and Positano coast. We swimmed in the sea on the 1st June! Capri island was fascinating!



I've read a ton of good books, watched cool movies and tv series.
I had an amazing year as a beauty blogger with my russian blog.
I've spent a lot of time with my cat.

But still there were a lot more upsetting things. And living with my mum drives me crazy. And she alongside with my gramma ruined celebration of New Year to me - I went crying and didn't celebrate at all. 2015 didn't start well but I'll try to make it a good year! And I'm starting with The 16 day New Year Challenge by A Branch of Holly. I'm a bit late but better late then never! I guess this post sum up my review of the past year: I'm fat, I'm broke, I don't have a job and I can't stand living with my mom. Bright future I have here, ha?


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